By The River: Why didn't Siddhartha kill himself?
In By The River, Siddhartha has lost his equanimity and comes to a point where he has decided that he wants to commit suicide. At the very last moment before he lets go of the tree, Siddhartha hears a voice, the voice of the Holy Om. This made Siddhartha come to another awakening and realize what he needed to do in life. Siddhartha had obstracized himself and left everyone, including Kamala and Kamaswami, without notice. He started to travel back to the river and sat down to reflect. He had become sick with himself and the way he acted and Siddhartha felt that suicide was the only way to end it all. This Om was a powerful force that affected Siddhartha. He states, " 'Om,' he pronounced inwardly, and he was conscious of Brahman, of the indestructibleness of life; he remembered all that he had forgotten, all that was divine"(Hesse 89). This new awakening was another start of a new path Siddhartha was to take in life. He had become avaricious and overwhelmed with the obsession of his riches, whether they were lost or gained, and forgot what it meant to be truely at peace. These actions had made Siddhartha unhappy. Siddhartha explains, "I had to experience despair, I had to sink to the greatest mental depths, to thoughts of suicide, in order to experience grace, to hear Om again, to sleep deeply again and to awaken refreshed again" (Hesse 97). Siddhartha's connection with his Om prevented him from killing himself and began the roots of the new path he was to take.
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The problem I have with this chapter is the stability of Siddhartha as a character. After realizing that he has awakened again, Siddhartha must convince himself everything in order for him to move on. He states, "[Siddhartha] found it difficult to think; he really had no desire to, but he forced himself" (Hesse 95). He seems very childish and impatient. His conversation with his childhood friend, Govinda, did not seem at all to be either welcoming or thankful. Siddhartha only obsesses over himself and becomes a hypocrite of who he was in the past. The way I see it, Siddhartha saving himself from death only made matters worse and more confusing for Siddhartha.Works Cited
Hesse, Hermann. Siddhartha. New York: New Directions, 1951.
posted by The Hulk @ 5:06 AM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
When Siddhartha comes to the river he is in bad shape. He realizes that his time spent in the town has been a waste and that the only things he once knew how to do: think, pray and fast, he could no longer do. He is a wreck with no real talents. As Charmander says, he has ostrascized himself from everyone he knows and loves. With his equanimity completely gone, he decides the only thing he can do is kill himself. Then, as if by some supernatural force, Siddhartha hears the holy Om in the river and his peace of mind returns. He sees that he must go back to his old ways and pray and think and fast. I disagree with Charmander on the fact that he becomes a hypocrite of his former self after he does not kill himself. I believe he is truly transformed out of his rich person ways. This can be seen in the next chapter when he meets the ferryman and he gives him his clothes and stays to become the ferry apprentice. He gives up all his possessions again and is just as humble as he used to be.
Siddhartha came upon the river because he lacked contentment from his actions with Kamala, Kamaswami and the others in his life. While sitting beside the river, it is indisputable that the Holy Om saves Siddhartha from suicide. As he awakes from the sleep after hearing the Holy Om, Siddhartha is reborn. Though Siddhartha shows impatient and childish behaviors after being awakened his character resembles stability in his thoughts. His is aware of his rapacious actions and is not proud of how he allowed himself to be caught up in material possessions and desires in life. After being awakened and united with the river, Siddhartha realizes that it was vital for him to experience these things in order to be able to learn from them and reach his Self. I disagree with Charmander in that Siddhartha becomes a hypocrite, for he does not shun things he has done in the past but learns from them. Later in the novel, Siddhartha becomes acquainted with the ferryman who befriended him many months before. Siddhartha learns from the river and about his philosophies in his life. He is not so much a hypocrite but is a renewed being that is now learning to love.
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